Why family and homes are amazing!

Holdriooh, here I am in Switzerland! ^^ Jack Frost sure has made an appearance here, but there is snow, and that makes me feel like at least we get something for enduring the cold: Everything looks pretty. I love sitting at the kitchen table at my parent's place and see tiny snowflakes peacefully float down in the streetlight in the evening, or looking over the misty outlines of the forest in the distance in the afternoon, and watching the sunrays dance on the white bark of the birch tree across the road.

snow in switzerland

I've had a very busy period since we moved to Montpellier. I was trying to make sure I made the most of every moment of my stay. Me and France, we have a history. A history of childhood memories of glorious summers, spent camping in the south. A history of heartbreaks, first loves, and the bittersweet times when a childhood's magic world turns into something you point at on a map. A history of falling in love all over again, making new memories and creating new magic.
It has been my dream to make this place in the world my home and to be able to speak French confidently for a long time.
Now that it has become reality, I suddenly felt a lot of pressure to make it as good as I possibly could. It has been fun, organising language exchanges and starting to build a network, trying to hack my way into French culture, trying to find a job... but also tiring and a tiny bit frightening.
That is just how it has to be and I wouldn't want to change a thing, really. But now that I got some distance I realise that I needed a break quite badly.
I have been worrying about a number of things - too many to be worried about at the same time. The worry drained me and made me much less productive than I could have been.

busy

When I arrived home, I was surprised by how utterly at home I felt. Everything is so friendly and welcoming here. I know every corner, every tree around here... this is my territory, my homeground. The flat, still the same rooms, the same furniture... everything so cosy and warm and embracing.
And of course, the people, my family. My parents have always been utterly (sometimes riddiculously so) supportive of me and I was never in doubt that I could fall back on them if there was a need. I also did, a few times and I have always felt grateful for it.
But it seems like this time, it was just exactly what I needed at exactly the right time, and it seemed to me that I have never been so deeply moved by how blessed I am in this.

peaceful

I have been rid of a very big load on my shoulders by my parent's generous offer to support me financially until I find a job - money issues have been heavy on my mind for a couple of weeks. Trev has supported me a lot for the past few months, partly because it was his delayed graduation that had made it impossible for me to take a steady job this summer, but mostly just because he's the sweetest guy in this world. But he'll be up in Scotland having to support himself and another flat next month and I'm starting to feel bad relying on him so much and had planned to be independent again by March.
Sadly, there is not much happening in my life jobwise atm and I started to feel stressed and pressured. Well, now I don't have to, anymore and I feel very grateful for that.

Talking about money is awkward, isn't it? It's weird. I don't feel like I'm poor but I'm used to living with little and want to keep it that way. I don't feel like money is something I don't want to talk to you about. This is about my lifestyle and how it works. And sometimes, well, it doesn't work so well. ^^

I just needed to get this out of my head.

I think, next week it will be time for another big post about my diet. It's been almost nine months since I went sugarfree, and there have been some other changes, too.
Don't miss it. You can follow me with Google friend connect or on facebook to be informed of new posts.

Happy Sunday!

In defense of the French motorist

Or: A piece of what I've learned from living abroad

When I told my mum I was going to get around the city here by bicycle, she was very worried. She told me to get a helmet (well, she does that all the time, she knows her duties as a mother ^^) and to be "really, very, extra careful, you know how the French drive, sweetheart!"

Well, when you learn to drive in Switzerland, every other country is basically a huge, chaotic mess as soon as you get on the road. At some point you just have to accept that you have to either grow steel nerves or keep away from the steering wheel when you're abroad.

Here in the south, traffic is really approached in a very different way than I am used to.
Rules are used as guidelines and people obey them if they have an exceptionally good day.
Otherwise, the French are of the opinion that every driver has his own head and eyes and should use his common sense rather than blindly follow a set of static dictations.

And what can I say - it works! Yes, traffic is chaotic. People are parking everywhere. Cars are going down one way lanes the wrong way if the fancy takes them. They leave their vehicles in the middle of the street to go and buy some eggs. They honk whenever it seems fit (it does often).

But they are incredibly far-sighted drivers, they know their vehicles, they are patient and they consider everything that moves in the streets a 'partner in the crime that is traffic'. ^^

I have never been stopped for and urged to cross the road (standing in the most unconvenient places) so often like since I've lived here. I have seen a car stop for a ragged old dog who was busy sniffing a pizza box in the middle of the street and patiently waiting until he was on his way.

And whenever I am on a bicycle... I feel safe. Much safer than in Zurich with its speeding, stressed and utterly self centered drivers.
So, yes, even if they take my Swiss passport away from me for saying this: Order is not everything. There are other things than rules that make the world go round.

Drive safe! ;o)

Diamonds and Stones

"Some Days are Diamonds, some Days are Stones." ~ John Denver.

I always think of that quote when I'm a bit down. It's a bit like the wise man who says "this, too, shall pass." There are ups and downs in life and nothing is forever. Only, I'm not sure if the stones would be the ups or the downs. Me, I think I'd prefer a smooth and lovely pebble to any ol' diamond.
Well, whichever it is, I've been having a rough day. It actually started yesterday. I'd been having such a great weekend realxing and I felt like I really recharged my batteries, and then I started the week off feeling tired and unmotivated and overwhelmed. When I got back from running in the evening (which I dragged myself to), I discovered that somebody had stolen one of the bicycles that a friend has lent us whilst he's away. Superbugger!
The rest... well it just all feels like a bit much and I'm quite sure that's because of my mindset. Take this as an example: In the afternoon I felt like I really needed to get it out, but I thought I wouldn't post a big rant on my blog, so I typed it (quite slowly on the touchscreen of the ipad - because I was too lazy to use the real keyboard) all into the writing app - and then halfway through apparently hit a key that says 'erase everything and don't save and don't ever give it back'. Boum.
That's pretty much how I feel about my whole life at the moment.
Diamonds and stones, diamonds and stones. I hope the shiny things will come my way soon.

A relaxing weekend.

Hi everyone, I've been kept from blogging by thinking about blogging too much. No joke! I was in a bit of a nostalgic mood lately and I've been thinking about writing about my two only best friends I've had. I'm not a person to make best friends easily. That's ok though, I'm way too clumsy and easily stressed out to maintain many parallel friendships, so I don't. I'm not best friends with these people anymore, but I sure miss them from time to time. Like on Friday, I was thinking on what to write about them on my walk home from the city. But then I decided I shouldn't post it, because it seemed so sentimental. Maybe I'll do it some day when I'm not soaking in nostalgia. ^^
I've been feeling a bit worn out by this week, organising all the language exchanges and getting confused between three languages every day, along with other things to think about, working out and not sleeping too well has taken its toll from me. I just kept feeling more and more tired, I had headaches all day long and I felt flu-like pain in my limbs each evening and had a sore throat even though it never turned into a cold. So I decided, this weekend I'd take a break from everything.
I slept in real long yesterday and today, I've been lounging around all day, reading in the sun on the balcony and such. Then yesterday afternoon we went into town to check out some shops we'd found interesting during the last week. I discovered a big arts supply shop and bought one of these artist plates with a thumbhole to mix paint on. I can't say what the word would be in any language atm. ^^ It's been on the list for a while. Normally I use a piece of cardboard or the lid of a glassjar or my hand, but the first two are not so handy, and since I've taken to experimenting with oil colors, those leach through the cardboard and the paint certainly isn't so healthy on my skin, so I'm excited about that new tool.
I also got a French SIMcard - after a lot of waiting! But it was worth it. Then we went for cocktails and beers and discovered the 'street of cool places' - I believe every city has one. That one is certainly gonna be an object of more exploring in the future. Several cool shops (Rockabilly!!), bars, brunch-places....
But we went to an Indian Restaurant for dinner, and it was phantastic! I even ate dessert... oO It's hard to find good vegetarian food here, and vegan is even more difficult. So atm I'm not completely strict when we eat out, but I'm trying to track down the right places. :o)
Today I finished the first book of my booklist (H.D. Thoreau's 'Walden, or life in the woods'), then read some background about it on wiki, talked to my family on the phone, did my finances, dyed my hair (brown, with henna, nothing interesting, but it feels good) and went and took some pictures of the trees behind our house. I'm on a mission to get acquainted with the trees and eventually other plants around here, so I took pictures and then I sketched their bark and silhouette, the leaves and fruits (as far as there were any, it is, after all, only January) on my notepad. There will be more investigations online, but so far I have an idea of what they might be for quite a few of them. It feels good. :o)

What feels good in your life? I hope a lot! :o))

My morning routine, my bed, my hair.

I have quite the morning routine these days.
In the mornings, I get woken up by the bell from the school next to our apartment complex. The outside area of the school is right in front of our bedroom window, so at 8am., when the kids start pouring in, there is not much sleep to be had anymore. I mostly stay in bed, cuddling in and enjoying the warm for another half hour, that's when the doorbell of our neighbours starts to ring. They are a married couple who look after six kids every day during the week. Around 8.30, the first parents will drop off their kid. After that, it's constant bell-ringing and chatter in the hallway for about two hours. That's when I'm getting up. I put something warm on and I sit on the livingroom floor for 15 minutes, meditating.
Then I check on Trev. If he is still sleeping and doesn't seem to want to get up (or if he has worked late the night before), I'll get dressed in tracksuits and go to the bakery. Most days I walk, sometimes I take the bicycle. On th way back, I munch one small bit from the end of the bread. It is my little treat that I look forward to and it is the part of the bread that tastes most delicious, but only if you eat it in secrecy. ;o)
If Trev is waking up (like today) I'll ask him if he can go and get bread.
Then I switch on the iPad and I put on the yoga video of the previous day on the 21day yoga challenge. Today it was standing poses. I like the teachers and I like standing poses, but they are really challenging and I get tired. After that I wake Trev or I wait until he's finished his mornig workout and we eat breakfast. I'll clean up the kitchen if it's my turn and tidy up the rest of the apartment, like give the toilet a scrub, put away laundry, pick up clothes from last night, air the cover and make the bed.

That's pretty much my morning routine atm. After that it's either off for conversation dates, or hanging out at home like today. Some days feel more productive, because there is an outcome, like the painting to show off from yesterday. Other days I do more thinking, planning, researching... like today. It feels like I haven't really done anything - although I swear I haven't been surfing mindlessly except for breaks. I guess I'm writing this down so I know it myself. :o)

I don't sleep so well atm. The first few nights I couldn't sleep because of all the unfamiliar noises, I had to check out if any of them was a threat to my rest, or if they were just normal things. The radiator in our room is broken and can't be switched off, and it makes gurgling or dripping noises all night. It gives me a hard time when I want to go to sleep. The bed is harder than I'm used to, with springs in it and some nights it hurts my hips when I lay on my side. I then turn from one position to the other and can't really find any way to be comfortable. But I think I've got used to most of these things now. I just still have troubles going to sleep, but then I have times like these. The thing is, I get woken up in the mornings (which is quite ok, because I like to have a routine that includes as much of the daylight as possible), I can't catch up on sleep. I also seem to have lost the ability to nap during the day, even if I feel nauseous and headachy from tiredness. I just can't get myself to lie down and rest when there is so much to do. I'm afraid I will fall into being my lazy, tired self and never get up and get interesting, exciting, creative and wonderful things done.

Duh, so be it then, there's people who live with a lot less sleep than me. ;o)
My hair is getting longer, and I'm looking forward to when I can put it in a ponytail again. The sad thing about it is that the purple is washing out. I won't dye it again for a while, I bought some brown Henna powder yesterday to get it to an all natural color and then it will stay like this for some time.

Now I think I will go shopping as long as the sun lasts... I've planned for some yummi vegan risotto tonight. Wish me luck! ;o)

In which I ramble... again.

I really finished that painting I talked about on facebook today. Whoot whoot, it makes me really happy when I look at it in all it's finishedness. It's a big painting and it has so many elements I was intimidated by until I used them for this project. It also gave me a very big surprise, and it was a something like my anchor for settling into a life here. But I'll show and tell you more when there can be pictures.

No pictures has turned this blog into a bit of a random. I actually like that I can just ramble on about daily things to you without feeling guilty of not posting anything 'meaty'. I like to babble, sometimes. ^^
I'm saving a lot of the more serious things for later, so you can look forward to some very nice and be-pictured posts whenever the Gods decide to give me back my charger. (Sorry for whining yet again, you can probably tell by now I am veeery impatient). So don't give up reading here just now. ;o)

What else from today? I felt tired. I worked out. It made me feel worse. Well, you can't always win.

The package that arrived from my parents yesterday had christmas presents in it: Two new nightshirts and three pairs of tights. I really needed new ones and had wished for one of each from an environmentally conscious company (they are so expensive I couldn't have afforded them myself), and they bought me so much! I am thrilled! I want to run around in a nightshirt and tights all day now. They are really comfy. :o)

How are you guys? I haven't been able to respond to any of your comments, but I'm always so happy to hear from you, and I visit your blogs, too! *Wave*
Yum, I think it's chips and salad for dinner tonight! Talk later! ;o)

Sherlock Holmes and the Scary Bitches ^^

Wheep, I wanted to check in yesterday, but it turned out to be a hard one. Not *the* hard, but full of things. I went out for lunch with a lovely couchsurfer and talked with him in French for about two hours. Now, there are different people who have different styles of talking, and I am a person who adapts strongly to the attitude of whoever sits opposite me.
So this guy was a very lively talker. Not loud, or emotional, mind you, just very lively, changing topics fast, bringing in a lot of ideas, also making my mind jump from point to point. It resulted in a veeerry interesting and genuine and althogether lovely conversation
BUTTTT....
Man, was I exhausted afterwards! I then went shopping, half way on the way back I realised that the back tyre of my bicycle is completely flat. I still had to go and find the post office to pick up a parcel (lovely Xmas presents, thanks, parents!!!), went to get garbage bags at some community center and then hauled my load home.
Once back I felt really physically wasted and I was almost suspecting I had picked up the flu somewhere.
I cuddled up on the sofa with my doodling pad and a cup of tea for a while. But it was my running day... Running when you're sick is not the best thing. But not running and then it turns out you're not actually sick also sucks.
So... I put on my running pants. They have a little lable on the side of the leg that says "Scary Bitch". And when you are wearing pants that say you're a "Scary Bitch", it's actually hard to *not* go running. ;o)
Well, I had a feeling that working out would either make me feel worse and make the sickness come out completely - or it would make me feel better. Luckily, the latter was true. As soon as I started I felt better and I was very proud of myself.
Then I baked really good pizza for dinner. I have decided that I need to learn to cook more, and better, so I'm trying to take it in turns with Trev now. After all, I will be living here allone for a while and I don't want my nutrition to go down the drain just because my personal chef is not around.
So yeah, I'm making pizza and pasta and stir frys at the moment, but I'm confident I can try my hand at more complicated things soon. ;o)
Then we watched Sherlock Holmes which was very sad because it was the last one and I might have cried a little, and I also punched Trev on his piercing (by accident!!!) in a very romantic moment - duh! I'm just so clumsy!

Well, all in all it was a great day and today I have another lunch date scheduled with a French girl, so I better get out of my pj's. ;o)

Doo-Dah-Day.

Yesterday was a Duh-kinda day. I felt cranky, whiny, frustrated. Restless, cold, could eat all the time. Back aches.
Some of you will roll their eyes now and say "Same old story." But well, I just don't ever seem to learn. It's the same every month, it just kinda sneaks up on me. At least I get a nice moment of relief when I realise why I'm feeling so crappy.
Then I went and opened my diary and next to the lines where I had scribbled "Why can I never be happy?" and "Nobody really cares for me here." I wrote:
"It's all good, don't believe any of this shit, I got my period."
Duh.
Then I started painting a new picture and felt better. I also wrote two mammuth blogposts about significant stuff that I'm quite proud of. But I won't publish them yet, firstly because it's a pain to use the html editor for blogger on ipad and insert every end of the line and paragraph code by hand, and secondly because I can't insert any pictures and really long blog posts without pictures are just really a pain to read.

And today was a Dah-Day, with a little spring, because I knew I was on the upside of the wave again, and I went and had a cup of tea with a lovely girl and talked French with her (wasn't as bad as I had feared), and then got a bicycle. I can only keep it until end of the month, but it's a start. ;o)

I'm wishing so badly that I'll get my charger cable in the mail soon so I can use my laptop again... meh me. >.<

New year's resolutions - part 2

I actually can't believe I'm writing down my new year's resolutions - the sun is shining outside and it is at least 12°C... it feels like April, or October, but certainly not January!

But every day is a good day for new plans, so here we go!

Mind and knowledge I generally enjoy learning new things and I feel keeping my mind and spirit challenged is a very important part of keeping myself happy. Currently, I'm working hard to fill up the immense gaps I have accumulated in my common knowledge.
I'm keeping a list of things I come across in my daily life - in discussions, in articles or on the internet. Usually some of the questions or topics will group together into a bigger theme. For example "Lenin", "Marxism", "October Revolution" result in me sitting down for a day or two and trying to understand the history of Russia. There are a lot of things out there to know and it would take too much time to go into big details for everything, but I'm constantly working on it and it is actually quite awesome how interesting it is - didn't feel like that in highschool!

Since I've been doing this in the past year already, it doesn't count as a resolution, but I've made two more specific ones that I hope to be able to keep quite easily.

- Read at least one book a month that is considered a 'classic'. I have made a list of books that I haven't read yet that I think one should know as they play an important part in our cultural background or are important witnesses of times and events to remember. If you're interested I can publish the list as soon as I can use my laptop again. But don't be shocked, the list is much too long to work through in a single year!

- Try at least one new activity This one is a bit tricky, as it is not only a matter of motivation and time, but also money, to do most of these things. But I would like to try a new hobby. These things have been on my mind:

- Some kind of dance: Rock'n'roll, swing, jazzdance or maybe another try in bellydancing
- A sewing class - learning to make my own sewing patterns for clothes would be great
- A new form of martial art. I have missed it ever since I stopped swordsfighting and I would like to find a more 'popular' martial art that suits me (I have tried Judo and Jiu Jitsu but didn't like it much).
- Rugby - It's almost like a martial art, isn't it?
- Volleyball - I absolutely love this sport but have never made it into a hobby - quite sad actually.
- Rollerderby - I've only seen this on youtube so far, but it looks so fascinating and I think rollerskates are SO cool!

Spirituality

I still need to have my initiation ritual and I think this will be the next big think I'll be planning for. The whole moving has made it a bit complicated, because since I want my friends to participate, I'll need to have it in Switzerland. But it will definitely happen.

Personal
- Visit at least 5 new places in Europe. I have made a list of places that I really want to go to, but I'm not sure if I will make all of them, finances will have to decide that. There is definitely a lot of exploring potential around where we stay here, so I'm confident I will make the five anyways. This is my wishlist of places to see this year:

- Prague
- Santiago de Compostella
- Talinn
- Helsinki
- Rome
- Ljublijana

I know it's six places, but Ljublijana doesn't really count, because I've been there before. ;o)

- Go to Australia Trev has been talking about settling down there as long as I know him and I never had much doubt that I will like it there. As we are moving closer to that point in our lives (well, not very close yet, but still closer than before ^^), we're talking more about it and I figured I should like to see the place for myself first of all and decide if it is really so wonderful. So we have some kind of downunder holiday in planning towards the end of the year.

Blog
Jap, I've thought about the blog, too. There is always a certain duality in my blogging. On one side, the joy of blogging for me is much about sharing what is dear and important to me at that very moment, it is a kind of online diary. On the other hand, I do like structure, and I like to have a goal or vision, a sense of meaning in the things that I do. And my life and personal thoughts are not so outstanding that it would be meaningful to put them on the interwebs for everyone to see. I do like writing, I like sharing my experiences, and I'd like to inspire and help people who feel similar to me about life.
So what I want to have is a kind of theme and structure to the posts that give the blog an identity. We've seen where it leads if I try to stick to a publishing schedule. It doesn't work, it puts me off. So a structure that still allows me to share personal thoughts but gives the reader a feeling of meaning behind the whole website would be the best.
I don't have a masterplan for this yet and I'm not quite sure where to begin, but I have ideas and I'm working on it.

Do you think this list is way too big? Oh you blessed, ignorant person! How lucky for you that I didn't share my secret to do list for this year that contains at least another ten points, from becoming a photographing pro to designing a tattoo down to world domination. Muahaha!

Thanks for reading!

New year's resolutions - Theme song

So here it is, this brand new 2012. I always get a bit amazed at new years. It's funny, I should be used to it. I get new year twice a year. My spiritual year ends and begins with Halloween. It has always felt right that way, and not weird at all. And I still get amazed every time, by the sparkly new thing that is lying before me, the opportunities, the maybes, the plans, the energy, the redemption. I do get amazed easily, it has to be said.
Well, maxabella has asked what our word for this new year would be. You know, something like a motto, or a theme word for this year, something easy and short that helps you keep in mind something that you want to work on.

My word would be compassion.

It encompasses everything I've learned in 2011. It was the answer to the questions I started this last year with.
Am I a good enough person? - Practice compassion and you will always be more than good enough.
Where am I going in this life? - As long as you choose the path of compassion, every destination will be the right one.
How do I find energy and confidence to pursue my goals? - They lie in compassion. Compassion for yourself and the world.

And most importantly: What is the meaning of life?
It's compassion! Whoever brings love into this world will not have lived in vain.

I am still so moved by the blessing of these truths and the fact that I have found them after such a long search, that I get teary eyes whilst typing these phrases.

So, for 2012, the motto, the meaning, the tool, the goal, will be compassion. I will strive to let love and passion glow in everything that I do, every impact that I have on this world, everything that I do to myself.

It's gonna be a good one! :o)

Hello London, hello bugs

Trev must have passed on his cold to me. I've had a scratchy throat all night and don't feel my most energetic today... So I've been staying in bed dozing the day away with a hot water bottle and a flask full of hot lemon with honey to keep me company.

Haven't really been doing anything... it makes me feel even more tired. I hope I will feel better tomorrow. I don't want to spend my time here half-sick. Oh and having that scratchy throat makes me want to eat icecream all the time. Blegh.

Xmas works

I'm generally an early bird when it comes to christmas presents, but I think this year is a record.

Since I'm going to see my family on Wednesday for the last time before christmas, I've finished everything already.
It always feels inspiring to be ahead of deadlines. :o)

Have you started on xmas things already? Or is it too early for holiday feelings?

Three great things about fall!

I'm linking up with October Follower's Fest today, so if you're coming from the linky, welcome! Maybe you want to know more about me. Leave me a comment if you follow (or leave a comment anyways! <3), so I can come and visit you back! You might also want to grab my free Halloween Card - you can find it here!




Colors - The last time we stayed here in the UK was in March or April and the trees and pavement were vibrantly colored by all the blossoms that were coming out just that very week. The weather was so favourable and everything was starting to bloom - cherries, magnolia, rhododendron... it was a color fest! And now, half a year later, it is pretty much the same scene! Although there is occasional rain the air is still soft and warm for this time of the year and the leaves of the trees have turned the most glorious shades of yellow, red, orange and brown. When the sun shines through the clouds the rays of light make the raindrops on the leaves sparkle. It's just magnificent!

 

 

Museums - Yesterday I had plenty of time adoring the scenery waiting in this line in front of the Natural History Museum. It's midterm and apparently all the Mum's thought it would be the perfect time to go and see the dinosaurs with their kids. After waiting in the rain for 50 mts they would come into the museum only to see that there is another endless line in front of the room where the dinosaurs are displayed... *Ugh!*
We left the crowds behind us though as Trev led me to his favourite part of the place, the Darwin center, which only shows boring dead things pickled in glasses - not one kid in there, yay! :o)

Afterwards we went on to the Science Museum to go and see the blubber - this is a device constructed with many tubes and valves where colored water flows through and it shows how money flows in our society. I didn't really get to study it but I read about it in a book and it was fascinating to see it in person. Oh, and the first computer - so cool! We also discovered this fantastic clock:

the time eating clock

We looked at more ancient clocks (we're both fascinated with clocks and clockworks it seems) and heard the internet speak. What an experience! I was deadly tired in the evening and all day I had to grit my teeth because my legs were still so painful and the fact that I had to walk mostly on my heels to avoid the leg pain then made my heels start to hurt, of course. But I'm so glad I pulled it through, I just love going to museums!

Food - In the evening we met up with Francis, an old buddy of Trev's that I had met last time we were here. I also met Trev's older Brother Jeff for the first time. It was nice to finally get to know him in real life, even though I felt like I already knew him quite well, from all the things I'd heard about him. He only returned to the UK this spring after four years in New York. It's funny to see how Trev is very much like their mother, whilst everything about Jeff makes me think of their dad. :o)

After some more walking we settled into this great lebanese place for some mezze and bacclavah - deeeliciousss!!

 
Now tonight we're going out for family dinner so I gotta get ready.



Hope you're enjoying autumn wherever you are!

Weekend pictures

I've had a special weekend, with many meetings of long-missed friends, both planned and spontaneous or even by accident. Long, philosophical conversations about people and our society, good food and some music.

Occupy Paradeplatz

Whishes and inspiration

We are going to the UK for two weeks tomorrow. We're very looking forward to meeting some special people and we have lots of plans of things we want to do and see, so there will be a bunch of stuff to show and tell.

The groove of today

Here's a few impressions from today's groove:

... What I saw
A lot of rain in front of the window. It's gone grey again around here. I balanced it out with a lot of colourwork in my art.

And this is my favourite picture of today:

Memories of sunny autumn days... it's not so long ago that we were able to sit around in T-shirts.
Picture from Martin.

... What I heard

A lot of mellow music. Sticking in my head these days is this:







... What I made

I did some painting that you will soon see on here, but I'm saving it for a bit. :o)
I also made candles from leftovers of old candles. I don't like throwing all that wax away. It's bad enough that all the candles I can afford these days are either made from oil-based wax or palm oil, which isn't much better... so I want them to last as long as possible.
Mixing all sorts of different colors together only gets you a boring brown of course, but I was being more practical than aesthetic this time.
I also didn't have any thread to use as a wick, so I cut up a cotton cloth and used the thick hem. They're dry now and the next time I do this I have to figure out how to avoid the 'caving in' that happens when the wax dries unevenly. It makes an uneven surface... But I hope they'll serve their purpose.

I couldn't find a nice basic tutorial for pour candles, but basically its as simple as that: Melt your wax, either in a wather bath or use an old tincan and put that directly on the stove, fix a wick into your container, pour wax in (I just read that pouring in layers and letting them dry halfway helps with the caving), let dry. Finito. (I used the lower part of beer cans as containers... >.<)
There's some really pretty sites about candles of all sorts, colors, scents... though, so I'm giving you some links:

- Pretty blog about candlemaking
- Coffee bean scented candle
- More elaborate wax recyling instructions

... What I ate

There were potatoes and curry leftover from this week's meals, so we had heated curry and I fried the potatoes. 'Only' leftovers, but it was veeery tasty!!

... What I thought

First I thought I wouldn't be able to get out of bed because I kept waking up last night... I dragged myself downstairs anyways and I got most of my boring tasks done before midday. Yay, what a feeling!
Then I tried to create a bit which didn't look good at first because I felt vaguely inspired, but not really driven, so nothing seemed to come out of whatever I tried. In the end I did get some things done and even one that I'm pretty proud of!
I also thought about flats a lot because we have started looking for a place to move to at the end of this year. It seems like there is a great opportunity for us, cross fingers and wish me that it will work out!

... What I felt

Cold! It's chilly up here in the mountains, and the house gets very cold now. We only have a woodfire oven which heats the livingroom and the kitchen. Since our room is under the roof, nights up there are brisk. I'm sleeping with woollen socks and a jumper, under two blankets. I like to work in my nook up there, but now it's just not possible anymore, so I brought my stuff down to the common room.
I really hope the temperatures will stay above zero until we move out here...

Oh, and I felt jealous as well! Whilst I even put on my only pair of jeans in the hopes that they would be warmer than two pairs of tights and a skirt and am more often than not wearing my scarf and fingerless gloves around the house, Trev is sitting upstairs in the cold room in his tracksuit bottoms, barefoot and in a freaking T-shirt!! Curse the man and his inner stove!

Hope you're doing well and feeling toasty warm wherever you are! ;o)



P.S: I put a new outfit peek up on the facebook page! If you haven't seen it yet, click here to see how I styled boy's clothes. Oh and whilst you are there, why not 'like' it? I'd be happy to see you again there! ;o)

The wondrous transformation of Mr.H

I've only known Trev for the last 2.5 years of his PhD and what can I say... I'm almost glad about that! ^^
It's been a stressful time, no doubt - not only because he is a person who is very perfectionistic in meeting the challenges he sets for himself, but also because he's had some extremely difficult situations with the publishing of some of his work.
Well, I always comfort him by saying that most geniuses are only acknowledged after they're dead... and now he has at least the satisfaction to call himself "Dr."

Graduation hat

After graduation, you get a hat... only in this group, they have a funny tradition for them: All the colleagues will make the hat together and adorn it with things that they know about the Dr. in spe. After their defense, this person than has to try and find out what all the funny little things on the hat mean. You can see that they made Trev's hat in rainbow colors because he likes to wear mostly black. The Welsh dragon and a bottle of whiskey are also visible. The moustache is meant to make him look like Nietzsche, one of his favourite authors.
(I made the sheriff star for him. It says "Call me Dr.!")

Happy face

Traditionally, an apéro is held by the defending student after the defense. Trev bought some rrreeeaaally expensive whiskey and made zaziki, houmus and baba ghanoush as dips.

Everyone seemed to enjoy it, but the biggest attraction of the evening was when Trev cut off his long braid... partly because he's grown tired of the long hair and partly as a symbol for the beginning of a new part in his life.

Over all that excitement we almost ran late for dinner... ;o)

Poems, Prayers and Promises...

Hey everyone! We're back from our little getaway and let me tell you, it was just fantabulous! I am now trying to get the pics on my computer but - oh surprise: zune has broken down and my phone won't synchronise! If there's one thing that really gets me running up a palm tree it's when things don't work the way they schould. So I'm calling it a day and I'm hoping it will all be better tomorrow. In fact I know it will be, because we'll have visitors which is always tons of fun, and I bet those people will be taking pictures, too. ;o) So, I promise there will be pictures at one point, just when, I cannot say. I'm also waiting for my new camera to be sent my way... *exciting* Hope you're all doing well! Lots of love

Monday Musings

Hey everyone!
I've been taking it a bit slow here on the blog, I'm in that funny mood of catching my breath in anticipation of exciting things to come. This weekend the weather turned from positively glorious to just hideously gray, cold and rainy. It didn't stop raining even for a minute between Saturday evening and Sunday night. When we woke up this morning the clouds had floated away from the mountaintops for a bit and we could see that it had snowed up there. The leaves of the trees are turning and the house is getting chilly. We're all sitting inside, enjoying leisure time watching movies and drinking tea and working in the kitchen on all the things that we've collected during summer, making jam, drying herbs and cracking nuts.

We're not the only ones preparing for winter

I am quite glad that we don't plan to be here for most of the winter because I don't know how well I could cope with days like these, and the cold, for months at a time.

This Thursday, Trev will hold his defense on his thesis and after that, the big part of the chapter "PhD" is finished. We've booked a few days in my favourite wellness hotel in Austria the week after. The time after that is dedicated to friends who have been long neglected due to the writing: We're expecting some dear friends for a visit, we'll spend a weekend with some other good friends in Paris and after that we're headed to England to visit old pals and family and enjoy Halloween and Guy Fawkes on Trev's homeground.

In between trips we'll start packing up our stuff and some time towards the end of November we want to be headed south, most probably to France, to spend the winter months exploring new territory, making music and keeping our school French from fading further ^^
We'll see how long we'll last down there, but we'll have a few months at least. Trev has a pretty definite offer for a postdoc about alternative energies in Atlanta that he is quite excited about. The catch is that they'll have to find funding first which should not be a problem per se, but a matter of time, which suits us just fine.

  

That's pretty much the future plans that we have so far. We're trying to let go of too definite plannings as far as possible, because experience has shown that often things happen very shortly before a change and that you can never know for sure where wer're going to end up.

That's OK though, the most important thing is to get moving again which feels really awesome. 

It will, however, mean that I'll cut a bit short on the blog in the times to come. As I've said before: I realised that a 'static' blog with a lot of daily features is just not for me. I feel much better to write about what's really important to me at the moment and risk to leave you with a few post-less days a week. 

I hope that's OK with you guys. ;o)

Happy Wednesday!

Hey folks and happy Wednesday! (wow, sometimes I feel like my blog is the only thing that reminds me of the weekdays... isn't that cool? ^^)
Today's the day. The day where I feel better, and not only better: It's the other end of the scale. I've been running through the house cleaning everything and baking bread, singing and dancing along with my favourite songs. The sun is shining and life is great.

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And no, I don't understand myself either. :o)

Soo, just wanted to let you know there's positive days in my life, too. (Hah!)
And I have a little fun video to show you that I put together last night. It's a few snippets of things that I filmed on our trip and that I put together randomly. From feeding a duckling and riding bikes in a Dutch park to an impormptu brass band concert and the Drag Queen Olympics: Lots of fun stuff! ;o)

I hope it will give you some impressions of what we've been up to and make you curious for the Travel Tales series I have coming up where I'll tell you more about each place we've been to and show you some additional stuff about the traveling.


Oh! The places you will go...! from yaga on Vimeo.

Have the brightest of Wednesdays!!

The productive power of letting go

Sharp title, ey? I'm really proud of that one! ;o)
Hum, well, jokes aside: If you are a seasoned reader and a cryptic post like my last one comes up you'll know that I'm having those days... Most probably, the red moon has risen, or something else as knocked me out of my usual positive and smiley self.
If you are new around here: Welcome!!! :o) - And now you know!


There are days like these, that's just a fact. I really hope writing about it doesn't dramatise it too much in your eyes. I really don't want that. I am very aware that there are people that are off much worse than me. Hell, even I was off worse than me a few months ago.
I'm doing FINE.


That doesn't change the fact that there are the days where I feel sensitive, cranky, gloomy, teary, not at all centered and not at all happy with my life and just generally out of tune with everything.
I write about it because it helps me. I write about it because I believe there is no sense in covering it up. I believe moods should not be banalised or ignored. They are part of what makes us human and they affect our lives and they are worth talking about.

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I have never just hated my mood swings... I feel that even my deepest depressions have a value to me. They are experiences that made me who I am. Feeling down makes me think about everything in my life and often leads to new insights. And even though it helps just to write about it and have some sort of outlet when I feel dark, it is even more precious to write down the things that these days teach me, so here goes:

I have been feeling oddly 'off'' for a few days and suspected that it would have something to do with my period which actually proved true yesterday.
Trev tried to cheer me up. He's always so sweet. I mean, what guy plays puppet theatre with plush toys to cheer his girlfriend up? But then he made some kind of ironic joke and I knew it was a joke, but it still got to me and before I knew what happened I was crying.
So I just settled back into bed telling myself: "You are very officially completely bonkers for two days now, might as well enjoy the excuse."

And you know what? Instead of staying in bed all day feeling bad and not getting anything done, I stayed in bed a little bit, then did a tiny bit of tidying up (happily leaving the hard bits for later), then did some sketching, then read some blogs, then wrote in my diary, then colored a couple of sketches and then wrote five blogposts.
Don't know about you, but to me, compared with the past couple of days, that sounds hugely productive! It's what happens when you let go: You can actually relax and see things from a distance and see the fun in them again and start enjoying what you're doing once more. Letting go takes the weight of pressure away from my creative work (even though I don't consider myself a perfectionist, I still expect a lot of myself and I am easily frustrated) and gives me room for playful stuff that will then benefit my mojo.

I just hope I can remember this for next time... I tend to trip over that sort of thing again and again...

How is your creativity doing? If you'd like some inspiration, make sure to read my Creative Blog Hop post tonight, it's all about what's inspiring me this summer, with great featured artists!