Before this I had felt more and more disconnected from my beliefs and I felt that no matter how hard I tried to meditate and pray, my spirituality was slipping away from me.
Now I feel as if my batteries have been charged. The feeling of connection and finding Her everywhere in my life is back.
|picture by Martin|
But I'm not just standing here feeling refreshed and more sure than ever of how to live my life.
Vision quests (a kind of trance meditation where you'll have dreamlike visions) are a big part of my religious practise and the two that I've been on since last week were quite exceptional. In the first one, I met Shakti for a dance in a purifying fire, and she told me that this was not the end, but the beginning of something.
What she meant became more clear in the second vision where I received very detailed instructions for an initiation ritual.
When I first got interested in paganism as a teenager, I gave myself a trial time of a year and a day as an "apprentice witch". After this timespan of experimenting, reading and meeting other pagans, I decided that this was "it". I only then changed to calling myself pagan when somebody asked for my religion. I devoted my further practise to Baba Jaga, who had also inspired my name (although that was long before that time). Ever since then, I have considered myself a scholar of the Old Lady and have found her to be a wise if somewhat challenging and unpredictable matron.
In this vision that I had about my initiation I have been told that my time with Baba Jaga is now over. I have been called to enter a new stage in my spirituality. It feels like this part of the path will be lighter but also more concrete and demanding.
I have been informed about certain rules that will apply for this stage of my journey, and I have been assigned a task.
It will affect my life quite a bit more than it has so far. Until now, I've been used to shape my spirituality to suit the rest of my life. After this initiation I will - to a certain degree - shape my life around my religion.
As you can surely imagine, I am really excited and I just can't wait... It feels a bit like christmas, or maybe first communion for christians.
So... this is the story of how religion suddenly got really really important in my life... and how it made me feel like a sun that can shine for everyone...
It does feel a bit weird to write about all these things out here, but it's affecting me so much these days, I could never write this blog without telling you and not feel like a liar.
Have a blessed evening! :o)