It sounds a bit egoistic, I know, but that's not how I mean it. I don't want to say that I think I am perfect or anything, quite the contrary. The one thing I can say about my life so far is that I've always felt uneasy about it in one or the other way. Sometimes that made me go crazy, but sometimes it is also a good thing. It makes me want to move on, to investigate about what's going on inside myself and how I affect my surroundings. I think that uneasiness is actually what sparked my interest for environmental issues. It's the driving energy behind everything I love to do.
Being me also has always been a question of accepting to stand out. Not because I'm better, but because I am different. Different in the way that everybody is - it's called individuality these days. But know what? Even though we're told that our society is exalting the concept of individuality, they're actually only joking. Adverts tell us exactly where we have to shop if we 'know what we want', or to 'make your own style'. Has any of these adverts ever made you feel like it's ok not to feel like shopping? See. And that's only one thing.
So I think I've worked and am working pretty hard on accepting to be me. Just me, no masks or anything. Let me tell you, dropping one of these masks in fall 2009 almost made me dive into a big depression again. It still hurts inside when I think about it.
Taking time off to work on things that are not really gonna earn me a living, nor include travelling (the only socially accepted reason for being unemployed in Switzerland) was another hard step.
But oh, it is SO worth it. I have never felt as liberated, peaceful and full of meaning than these days, where I wake up every day and make the day mine.
It might not work all the time (I have been caught browsing the web instead of working... shame on me!), but it will work out eventually, and I love it.
Have a happy weekend everybody, make it yours!
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