These days I have been thinking about taking a break. It seems that, out of several reasons, I am not so capable of enjoying social events at the moment. I enjoy time for myself, cocooning in my ideas and projects, spending quiet time with my beloved, just taking it easy. I like not having to rush from event to event and talking to people all the time. It leaves space in my head to consider what every thing that I plan is really worth to me. Do I want to go to that party? Not really? Do I have to go? Of course not.
It's hard to push away the social consciousness sometimes, that tells you that you have to go because your friends expect you to. But honestly: Nobody will fall into depression just because you don't show up to their meeting, even if they say so. I'm not talking about meetings with only one or a few friends. Of course it is impolite to back out in the last minute and leave somebody with an empty schedule because they counted on you. (Even though there are situations where I think it is ok to do that, although not with a light mind). I just find that at the moment I do not get enough from happy social babbling with other people to make it worth for me. This has nothing to do with my friends or the people I'm meeting, who are all very nice and I still like them. This has to do with me and my very personal needs.
Also, last wednesday, fast-time started. I must say I do not know a lot about how and why this time was traditionally celebrated, but I like the view that a lot of people have on it nowadays: To refrain from something that is dear to you for a set amount of time, for the purpose of thinking about how much we have, why we think we need certain things so much, if we really need them, and to (hopefully) appreciate them again, once your time of restraint is over.
I thought about what I would miss most if I wouldn't have it anymore. Of course, there is always the choccolate option. But I am cutting out on sweets pretty much anyways and thinking about the way I eat, so I didn't find that such a good choice. I was about to just let it go and maybe start thinking about it earlier next year, when on friday my internet went off. It just didn't work anymore. I tried everything. When I realised it's not gonna come back, I started thinking about how I could spend my day. I had intended to do some research and some knitting, but I could not do these things without the net.
I was quite surprised that after the first minutes of desperation and a feeling of emptiness (I am a person that uses the internet for literally everything), I started feeling really calm and thinking, that it wasn't such a bad thing at all.
Well, the net popped back on after about 15 minutes and all was well, but my resolution until Easter's is now to take at least on day per week off the internet and especially facebook. Blogposts are allowed.
My first day off was yesterday and it was really nice. I missed checking on fb of course, when I turned the computer on to blog, but it was ok, not as bad as I would have thought. I guess the weather being so sunny I even took my bicycle out for the first time this year helped a lot. And since it seems like today is gonna be nothing short of yesterday, I will now go and enjoy the sun!