Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Trees make everything ok.

I've been SO productive these past few days!
I can't believe how much of a difference it makes to have more space. I really am content with little, but being able to have my painting supplies in their own dedicated cupboard, with a chair and the easle next to it is heaven. I've been working on a painting and some sketches and lots of stories.

I've also explored running routes in the neighbourhood and found a decent park to turn my rounds in.
A funny thing happened there. The first few days here I got really anxious and insecure. I suspect it was a mixture of the aftermath of the tension over Christmas, the coming down from the stress, the exhaustion from the moving and then anxiety for the future; would we find friends? What if that French thing really doesn't work anymore and I just can't speak more than two languages at a time? Will I find a job? Is it gonna be nice to live here?
And all that Jazz. I just didn't feel at home yet and it all scared me a bit. Then I went for a walk one day, I went into the park. I felt the grass under my feet and I started to look at the trees who were like strangers to me. I could recognise about a tenth of them. I went and stood with a fir tree for a long time. I stroked its bark and felt the familiar patterns under my finger. I felt the comfort of talking to a tree, its rootedness and the silent security that life is good if you only have means to grow down for water and grow up for sunshine.
When I went home, I was happy. And from that moment on I thought of this place here as home.

Well, I'm trying not to overdo things in my euphoria, as I know I tend to do. I'm making my lists and try to keep them simple, taking one thing at a time, doing my best to enjoy the freedom that I have now to form my life exactly as I want to. To learn when I want, create when I want, relax when I want, work out when I want.

I'm eagerly waiting for the charging cable of my laptop that I left in Glarus and which should arrive soon (!!!?) by mail. Without my own laptop I feel like only half a person. :oP


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