on fleedoo (which is a great site, like freecycle but with a nice online interface and it's local), I have been admiring the empty space it left behind. It just makes everything in here so much more airy. I liked the chair, but once it was gone, I would never have taken it back (it worked like this with all things so far!)
And it dawned to me that even in our tiny flat, there are spaces that are just filled out with stuff that pretends to fulfill a purpose but actually just takes up room. As a result, I went to work today and radically decluttered my altary. The goal was to have it streamlined, simplified, clean and in the tradition of Terry Pratchett's Witchery: Use what you have, don't bother with shiny gadgets.
So we went from this:
to this:
to this:
After the work I lit a candle and did some yoga using the newly-gained space. :o)
I ha
ve so many projects going on here at the bubble, and others are floating around in my head, glinting and begging me to open the windows so they can fly out into the sunshine of realisation. It's a wonderful, invigorating feeling, but as I mentioned, it also brings mental problems sometimes. I was on one of these 'maniac' highs last Wednesday, and I couldn't sleep that night because of the Merry-go-round in my head and also because at the same time I was freaking scared about how I would feel in the morning. I did feel awful. But I knew it was because of the down and lack of sleep, so I pulled all the energy I had left together and went to work. It just didn't fade away as it does most times. I kept feeling dizzy and nauseous, and finally my co-workers (bless their souls!) sent me home, assuring me that I looked very sick and should get some rest. I spent thursday in bed, and it was very much what I needed. I still felt very down and gloomy, but also still felt sick. Long story short, it was a bit better on Friday and I had to go because of a parents meeting in the evening, but when I arrived, half the school was in bed with a stomach bug.
Just an unlucky coincidence? Or did I catch the bug because my defense was down because of my moodyness? Or did my mind and body trick me because they just couldn't bear going to work? I am never quite sure...
But it surely is aweseome to have some space for that in my life, too, since it seems I can't fully avoid it (yet). I am off on Mondays and Wednesdays, so I only had to fight through two days to get to a three-day weekend that I needed badly and that I am enjoying as much as I can right now.
I am also really glad Trev is as understanding and patient as can be with me these days. He told me on Thursday night that there was nothing he could do to make Friday easier for me, but he promised to look after me all weekend, and boy, is he doing that! I am handed tea whenever my cup is empty, eat wonderfull things, scheduled baths and cuddles - and I get to wear his jumper! ;o)
Hm, yesterday I said I didn't really like whining blogs, but now I realise I still told you the whole story... I guess I just had to write it down to get over it for good, forgive me! And now, back to my totally boring, totally amazing weekend! ;o)
4 Comments:
That's so lovely that he takes care of you like that. You are very lucky.
I like your new altary. It looks very clean and open. x
oh yes, i surely am! and he doesn't even think it's special. but i know it is! ;o) <3
There was a time, around last November and December, where I spent a lot of time thinking about all kinds of things; life, the universe, everything. I came up with many many exciting things to do, right away in the near or far future. The downside of that ime; I really had trouble sleeping at night from all the excitement. And sometimes from the anxiety too that comes with realising the big potential of something (like life) – as it can easily be wasted. Hmmm, am I even making sense? I guess what I'm trying to say is; I sleep better when I'm not creating and thinking and trying to improve myself. Yup.
"And sometimes from the anxiety too that comes with realising the big potential of something (like life) – as it can easily be wasted."
I love this sentence, it very much sums up the feelings that pull me down. Well, it's either doing sth with your life or not using the potential and sleeping well at night... ;o)
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