I remember sometime at the beginning of 2010 I told my family about my newest projects and resolutions. I enthousiastically explained the yurt course and that I'd signed up for further education in nature paedagogics, that I wanted to take the CPE exams sometime that year, find a way to polish up my french, and... and... and...
"... and just generally be a better person!", my godmother added with a lot of sarcasm. I know she wanted to make a joke and get me back to the ground.
Yes, yes yes. I want to become a better person. I want to do anything that's possible to develop into what great human I hope I can be one day. I think this is exactly what life is for, to push yourself to slowly grow into being the You that you dream of.
And that doesn't mean I don't like my present self. I love it for the achievements it has made already.
I am about to finish that further education course. We have an almost finished yurt out there and a lot of experience and adventures behind us. And I just passed my CPE with a B.
And I love it for the prospect of further development that lies in it. I know I can achieve anything if I just do it right.
Don't let anybody who grew too comfortable in their life tell you to settle with anything short of the best you can envision for yourself. Even if it drives me crazy, I will never stop working on realising my dreams.
(Admittedly, I had planned on writing a post about how having these sentiments about life hurts sometimes, how it lets me get all fired up with projects and running around like a mad dog chasing its tail, already afraid of what I know will come next: the fall into the dark abyss of an energy down, feeling like life is too big for me and not being able to perform even simple tasks like groceries.
But I know most people get that sometimes and I don't like crying blogs, so the positive side of the thing is more important.)